#NaturalHair!

My Favorite Natural Hair Guru, SimplYounique, Relaxes Her Hair & It’s Waist Length!

When I first went natural over 4 years ago, I tuned into many women on YT for styling tutorials and Kerry of SimplYounique was someone that I tuned into faithfully even though our textures are different because her videos were easy to follow, the picture quality was great, and her personality was very relatable.  Watching her videos also inspired me to start making YT videos  because I wanted to be the “Kerry” for someone with my tighter kinky, curly, coily texture.

While going through my hundreds of YT subscriptions today I was super excited when I saw a video from SimplYounique because her last video was over 1 year ago.  When I read the title of the video my eyes opened WIDE “Relaxed Hair Update 2014″ WHAAAT? DID I MISS A VIDEO OR SOMETHING? Usually theres an update after we’ve been told the news, but this was my first time hearing of her being relaxed!

Being a total fan of Kerry’s I understand what my “loves” aka fans go through when I make drastic changes around my hair, like my most recent big chop and then the 2nd chop to make it shorter and then the 3rd cut to maintain the style.  I feel like I know her, she is in fact my friend in my head and for her to relax her hair had me all choked up and feeling some type of way!

From Kerry’s YT Channel, she says

Hi Everyone! This is an update hair video. Life threw a few curve balls my way and I could not maintain the hair prepping, detangling or styling of my hair in it’s natural state. It became extremely time consuming as my hair got longer, so I gave myself two option.. And that was either to cut it all off or to just relax it. I chose to relax my hair for no other reason than for the convenience of it. Unfortunately I have not been taking care of my hair because it is no longer on the top of my priority list. Has my hair suffered? The answer is Yes! Now, I have to learn how to take care of relaxed hair.


Oh and her hair looks really healthy and is very very long. Wow!

Screen Shot 2014-07-23 at 1.23.21 PMScreen Shot 2014-07-23 at 1.23.31 PM

I have no place to judge her because it’s her life and her hair and she can do what she want, but I’m hurt when another positive role model in our community makes the decision to relax their hair and then says they did it because it’s “easier”.  This messaging is what hurts me, not the decision. Do what you want, but own it.  Tell me what you think. Is relaxing your hair after years of being natural because it’s easier a legitimate reason or a cop out?

I can come up with a  few alternatives that I personally would choose to do to my hair instead of relaxing it if my life got too tough and I was having trouble managing my hair.  And actually, the first one I  did do when my life was overwhelming because I was pregnant with my 2nd child, was high risk, maintained a full time job and had a 2 year old son, hubby, and was in the process of buying a house. PROTECTIVE STYLES ANYONE? Anyone with no time knows how convenient this can be. Kerry mentioned that she is currently keeping her hair “in a ponytail, a bun or under a lace front.”  So basically she’s protective styling her relaxed hair. #noshade

Just in case you read that paragraph as judging, I’m going to say it again, I’m not judging her, I’m addressing her reasoning as to why she chose to relax her hair. She said she had no time, right?  If you’re ever too busy to do your natural hair this is another alternative that you can take versus relaxing your hair, why not try a low manipulation style like mini twists that can last weeks or a marley bun which can last at least a week.

And my final option which I tell people all the time, you don’t have to relax your hair to wear it straight.  Heat styling is not foreign to anyone, visit a salon for a blow dry and flat iron and voila. I ask you once again, Is relaxing your hair after years of being natural because it’s easier a legitimate reason or a cop out?

About Jenell B Stewart

Jenell Stewart MS, the founder and editor in chief of the award winning website KinkyCurlyCoilyMe.com dedicates most of her free time educating and uplifting women with natural hair by way of her extremely popular website and YouTube channel. Jenell has been featured in Essence Magazine, Black Enterprise.com, and starred on the Dr.Oz television show as a Beauty Expert. In 2012 she was named one of Essences top Instagramers and that same year KinkyCurlyCoilyMe won an award for “Favorite Website” of the Natural Hair Community.
  • MsVet

    I relaxed my hair because it was easier for years, until it broke off so bad. My hair wasn’t as long as her but it was down my back. Eventually I had to stop the perms. My hair is healthier now and it is not as long and may never be as long, because I did learn one thing my hair is fine. I don’t care about growing it long I want healthy natural hair period.

  • Nikki

    I can’t believe she did this she was one of my favorites on YouTube I looked up to her videos awww man why she do that

  • Missy

    LOL, she didn’t commit a crime, she simply chose to revert back to “the crack”. Different strokes or different folks. Come on ladies, she did give us a plethora of great tutorial videos. Can she live?

  • Nisha Glenn

    I wouldn’t have relaxes mine personally. I agree with you when you said ro do protective styles but at the same time some have to cut all their hair off because the protective style damaged their hair. Everyone has their reasons for doing the things they do.

  • http://desiremynatural.blogspot.com/ CJeanPoet

    I usually go to KCCM everyday and when I saw this article I was hurt #sadface. Like I spent a long-slow while reading this article. I had to go to her channel just to see if it was true! I am very hurt actually. She was one of the first naturals I followed for short styling to medium length. It’s her hair and her decision about her hair. But I wish she would have at least tried protective styling before considering relaxing. But I’m just glad to see her on YT again. She’s a beautiful spirit.

  • memeemers

    I have to say, I’m disappointed to see she went back to relaxers! It’s so bad for your hair. I agree that for saving time, protective styling >>>>>>>>>> relaxers, 100%, every time. (And big chopping instead of relaxing would have won out with me, for sure.) She had (has still, I suppose) a great head of hair and I enjoyed her videos. I kind of see relaxing because it’s easy the same as saying I eat McDonald’s every day because I don’t have to cook; “easy” doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

    All that aside, I hope she relearns to care for her relaxed hair. It would be a shame to have gone through all the trouble of maintaining and growing beautiful natural hair only to have it fall out.

  • http://www.thyblisscalls.blogspot.com Adjoa

    What’s wrong with her relaxing her hair? I’m sure she realizes all the risks associated with relaxer. Also, her reason that its easier is more than valid. We as naturals ALL know that natural hair is time consuming. A simple twist out prep can take about an hour. Wash day hours if not, all day (depending on your length, texture, etc of course). We all do not know what she’s going through and if it’s easier for her, we need to respect that rather than throw shade. Acting like the hair on HER head is OUR hair. Nah, she has the right and power to do whatever the hell she wants with it. We need to stay in our lanes and remember that we are just viewers. She chose to share her hair journey with us and as spectators we need to realize it’s her hair. Y’all try to have possession over everyone’s hair. Stop it!

  • Ddcurvy

    I really don’t feel the comments u gave were fair. She is going thru a lot of probs in her life n if going thru those probs she chooses to relax her hair I think as a community we should be encouraging her and praying for her rather than being disappointed about HER HAIR I think you came off very offensive if she was to read this although u kept on saying u weren’t judging but you are. You aren’t her u don’t know her fight it should be more of a view tht u are grateful got her contribution to the natural hair community than arguing about protective styling . It’s her hair n if she wants to dye it blue cut it or relax it we should be supportive and not judgemental. Just as a regular reader I’m just saying I don’t like the stance you took

    • DailyFailDotKoDotYouKay?

      do you know exactly whats going on in her life dd?

      • Simone

        She’s going through a divorce.

  • Shaniece Velvet Edwards

    Well obviously, she aint stable and something must have gone down…I am natural too and trust me the money and time aint always there to go to the hairdresser I definately felt her pain….at the end of the day you have to make ‘you’ happy.

  • Wynter Thompson

    Her hair, her business…I have gone through a divorce and even with natural hair, taking care of my hair was the last thing on my mind. People can only understand this if they have walked through something so traumatic…I pray that she is well and continues to inspires women to do what works for them.

  • Ashe

    I’m not going to lie…being natural did become time consuming and expensive. Sometime this year, I began to experience serious breakage and was ready to get my hair shaved but as an alternative, I got sisterlocks. Although it’s expensive up front, I was able to retain it little length and I only use one product: shampoo…every two weeks.

  • AlI. S.

    It is HER hair. I went years natural and permed it on a whim last year in August. I cut the relaxed hair off again in January and started all over again. Yes, you can straighten natural hair, but you have to be a LOT more cautious when it comes to maintenance. I can understand her from a convenience point of view. It isn’t fair to even debate it. it’s her life and she is doing what works for her…as we all should.

  • Carmen Clark

    why is her opinion that relaxed hair is easier hurtful to you? i understand that you may be hurt because she made a decision that is contrary to what you may have wanted her to do, but just because she made a different decision than you would have doesn’t mean her reasoning is any less legitimate. how is she *not* owning a decision *she* made for *her*? as to your question about ease – my order of ease (from easiest to least easy – but not necessarily difficult) is as follows…
    cropped hair (not even twa) < short relaxed hair < long locs < long relaxed hair < long natural hair

  • Reesey

    First off her hair looks amazing. I hope that she is comfortable, happy and finds the convience she needs through having relaxed hair. I hope she doesn’t regret relaxing her natural hair and truly enjoys it. I’m sure she is recieving tons of angry comments and emails. Which is ashame because at the end of the day we should support one another even if we don’t necessarily agree. After all its just hair. Also I give her big props for speaking her truth and doing what she wanted with her hair even though she knew many people would be very unhappy about this.

    I agree with Jennell’s stance on this topic. I also noticed that there are a lot of comments on how it is not our business about what Kerry has done to her hair but on the contrary as a natural hair vlogger you make your hair everyones business. Its ok for fans to be disappointed and to wish she did something different. Those feelings are valid and ok.

  • Kenisha

    For some people having relaxed hair is easier. Everyone has a different regimen whether it’s easy or not is a matter of opinion. I’ve been natural for 8 years and honestly having natural hair for me is more work on wash days but I enjoy the versatility of either going straight or curly. The “natural hair community” has gotten out of control with following people because they idolize hair in my opinion that’s assanine because like regimens every has different textures but no one asked my opinion. It’s more hurtful to me to see people capitalize off of hair types when black beauty shops are losing business because “hair gurus” have taught them “how-to” do their hair. Whether hair is relaxed or natural as long as it’s healthy, to each is own!

  • Connie

    Don’t take it to heart. Hair is an accessory. She might shave it off in a month for all you know. Think of it like dying her hair. It may not grow out fast or be as versatile but it’s really not that different. You make your hair, you’re hair doesn’t make you.

  • Cecilie-Elizabeth

    I do agree that it is her hair and that she should do whatever it is that she wants to do with it. However, she has to understand that by making youtube videos and attending various hair conventions and events, she established herself as a public figure for natural hair. She didn’t accidentally become famous for her hair; everytime she posted a video, she wanted people to watch and go on her hair journey with her. There are a lot of women who grew with her in the natural movement, and to see her go back to relaxers is like if Obama suddenly decided to become a republican. Sure, it may be her choice, but she should have taken into account all the people she would be letting down when she made her decision. Women might say “I also have no time, and I was just going to struggle through with my natural hair, but maybe I’ll just do what my favorite hair guru did and perm it.” Youtube is where a lot of people go to learn how to style and love their hair, but if youtube gurus decide to go back on the movement that they previously committed themselves to, what kind of message is that sending to women who are trying to come to terms with their big chop/transition?

    • Simone

      To clarify, Kerry aka SimplYounique never attended hair conventions and was on YouTube way before she went on her natural hair journey. She was around before being a YT guru was a significant career path so she wasn’t creating videos to try to “establish herself as a public figure for natural hair” but rather to document her journey and provide her styling techniques. According to her FB she mentioned she was under a lot of stress due to her marriage and is currently going through a divorce. I can imagine how emotionally draining that could be so natural hair probably wasn’t a priority for her. I’m just as saddened to see her relax hair as she inspired me to go on my journey 3 years ago but I fully support her decision. It’s her hair and her life so she can do whatever makes her happy.

  • folamix

    All I can say is that is sad to see that she reverted to the creamy crack. I am much older than she is and see the damage using relaxers has done to my hair. I think in her case, length won out over health. There are countless alternatives if she felt that the maintenance of natural hair was too much and she needed an easier way to deal with her hair. However, the bottom line is her hair, her decision.

  • Marilyn E Blythe

    I don’t care what anyone does to their hair. I understand that being relaxed may be easier for her, she has a lot of hair to handle. Although my hair is natural, I keep it a certain length because it makes it easier for me to train for triathlons and marathons. I made a conscious decision that my hair would probably only be a certain length because I cared more about swimming, biking and running than I did having long hair.

  • Rikki

    Honestly its her hair so she can do whatever she wants to it. I don’t understand why it hurts you or anyone else. It’s just hair. I was natural for 3 years and then permed my hair because I wanted to. When I was natural it took hours to detangle and style my hair. Now that I’m relaxed its less time and much easier to style.

  • Olive

    I get the inkling that many women low-key go natural as a means to an ends and are too ashamed to admit it lol. They see that they can grown their natural hair to lengths that are hard to achieve with a relaxer so (in my lil’ conspiracy theory) they plan to grow it out for four or five years. When their hair is finally tailbone length or whatever lol, they throw a relaxer back on it so that they can FINALLY be that girl with “long hair don’t care” bragging rights. They can now let it blow in the breeze and proudly answer “no” should anyone ever ask if it’s a weave. I’m being cheeky, but here’s my real point…

    I’M NOT SAYING THAT THIS WAS/IS KERRY’S MOTIVATION, I don’t know her and for all any of us know, she may very well have just been fed up with the fussiness of natural hair care and needed a more to-the-point regimen that was more easily accommodated in her own lifestyle. Cuz although it is a labor of love, natural hair care is much more fussy than dealing with relaxed hair, that’s just the reality of it.

    What gets under my skin is how women feel the need to make excuses for their motives and/or choices so as to not be publicly shamed by the women that put them up on a pedestal. No one should ever be made to feel ashamed for doing what works best for them. Hell, I LIKED having a relaxer lol (although I hated what it did to my scalp). I never had any shame issues about my natural texture or anything like that, it’s just that having relaxed hair made quick work of styling it. I knew that if I needed to go to an event or outing, it’d take me about 2 hours to do my hair as opposed to the 4-6 hour detangle/wash/deep condish/style process that my huge fro requires now lol. Relaxers do make life easier.

    Thing is, that convenience comes at a cost, with risks as severe as permanent scalp damage and hair loss (or worse). If that’s a risk that they’re okay with, then let them live. My only gripe for women that choose this path is that they put in allllllll that work to grow their hair out, to only a few years down the road, be in the EXACT same position that they were in before they went natural and now they have to nurse their scalp/hair back to health again. I just hate to see women bust their a-ses for YEARS just to be back at square one all over again. But again, that’s their decision to make for their own heads, not mine, and it’s absolutely not my place to pass judgement on them for it.

    You have to do what personally works best for you and none of you ladies owe ANYONE any explanation for what you decide to do to your hair. You can’t “fail” at being natural unless you completely neglect your hair lol. If you’re sick of all the work that it takes to properly maintain a head of natural hair and you just want things to be easy again, there’s no shame in that. If you were sick of having short hair and you only went natural to grow it out so that you could relax it again once it was longer, there’s no shame in that. Not every natural is on a “Mother Black return to my roots and all things pre-diaspora” kick lol, and I DON’T say that mockingly, cuz there’s nothing wrong at all with being strongly culturally self-identifying, that’s just not what every natural woman’s true goal is. Everyone goes natural for different reasons, none of which is the “right” or “wrong”. All there can be is YOUR reason for going natural, or staying natural for that matter… <3

    • CountessK2010

      Well said Olive!

  • Siobhan Blot

    I ALMOST relaxed when mine got overwhelming after 5 years. But I knew I couldn’t live with myself. So I smooth chopped down to 1/2 an inch and wore a twa for a year and a half until I was no longer too lazy to take care of my hair…happy to be growing it back out. :-)

    but a relaxer….NEVER again.

    (below is where I was before I got scissor happy)

    • katina

      Ur hair was gorgeous, sweetie , wow !

  • tndr shelle

    Man listen, when your hair gets a certain length trust and believe me that shit is irritating. Before I did the big chop, I couldn’t understand why long haired girls were always like ” I wanna cut my hair”.. fast forward 3 yrs later and my hair is creeping down my back and my go to style is a damn braided bun. I watch haircrush and I”m literally like ” I don’t have the energy to deal with that style”. I’m EXTREMELY tempted to relax my hair and get a short cut, when I’m tired of that I’ve already proven to myself I know how to grow my hair out again. So I respect her decision and I’m glad she’s making videos again.

    • CountessK2010

      I wear a braided bun everyday!

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment

    • Ash Marie

      Sometimes I think a relaxer is a cop out and sometimes I think it’s just a preference (with deeper ties). I think if Kerry or anyone wants to relax their hair, you know, fine, whatever; it’s theirs. But when the reasons given highlight the delight of relaxed hair and simultaneously shine a negative light on natural hair, that gets me. I’m not talking about Kerry’s video specifically, but many “I’m going back to my relaxer” vids do that, intentionally or unintentionally. Anywho, I never was stuck on Kerry, but she seems sweet (although a bit hurt) and I do wish her the best in what she’s going through.

      Side note: My hair is waistlength and kinky (it would be longer, but we’ll get to that later). The only time I’ve gotten overwhelmed with it was earlier this year because the tangling and detangling was a lot; and on top of that, I had multiple jobs and extreme stress. However, a nice trim fixed that as well as “job downsizing”. Even during the “struggle”, a relaxer never crossed my mind. I was actually more inclined to do what you did: Put it away. I did buns (with loose hair, braids or twists), wraps and sometimes wash n’ gos (yes, I still do them). I think ppl sometimes make natural hair maintenance harder than it needs to be.

  • Danyx

    She relaxed it because she has the required length that she wanted .. Long hair down her back .. The envy of all the weave wearing chicas

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      So thats what our journeys end with?

      • Olive

        I think it secretly does for some women, more than would probably publicly care to admit… :/

  • Mar

    Kerry was also my fave when I first became natural and you did make my mouth drop open with the news just now but note that she said “Life threw a few curve balls my way and I could not maintain the hair prepping, detangling or styling of my hair in it’s natural state”. My hair is nowhere near her length and I bc again in my 3-year span while still learning how to care for my natural hair and being fed up with how long it takes, dry hair, etc. etc. etc. Some of life’s upheavals take all your mental and physical and spiritual strength to survive; I can’t say I would opt to relax if it were me but she did what was right for her and God keep her (and us) through the curve balls.

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Mar

  • Melody

    I’ve only been natural for 2 years and my hair comes to my underarms. I’m trying so hard not to relax my hair. This hair of mine, I have a love/hate relationship with it. Its difficult to maintain if I don’t have braids in. I don’t knock anyone for their decisions. Her choice to relax is her own. I’m really going to try for atleast one more year to stay natural but its a struggle. I’m still going to watch her videos. I’m still a fan.

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Melody

  • BellaBell

    I really don’t care if she relaxed her hair. At least it’s her hair, and she’s not wearing falsified brazilian tracks. What annoys me is when women wear weaves, because it’s “easier” and for “protection.” That’s a lie women have told themselves for centuries. If you took out the time to nurture your real hair the way you nurture your weave, your hair would be healthy and grow. If you put the money you buy weaves with and put it towards your own hair, your hair would grow. So at least it’s hers.

    • Veronica Newman

      But it’s not all hers. If you read the article she said she keeps her hair in a bun or in a lace front. Basically she got a relaxer just to wear it in a wig… that is the irony.

      • BellaBell

        I honestly only read nid bits. But I watched the video. Lol. I don’t know what to say about these women. Like, why can’t women, especially black women keep weave out of their head. I’m not gonna be hypocritical, because I wore weave, but it wasn’t until I noticed how crazy I looked wearing weave when I had beautiful curly locks that I stopped. Weave honestly did more damage to my hair than just growing it out.

  • Toni

    I definitely felt and understood your disappointment I, for the first time in almost three years of being natural, got tired of doing my hair. When that happened to me, it made me understand why ppl relax their hair. I think this article seems a tad judgemental, because everyone has different hair, that can be more challenging to maintain. My hair is so dense it can’t hold a twist out for one day. A braid out requires me touching up my hair. I don’t always want to wear a wig or braids. I wanna wear my own. . Lol I get both sides. I appreciate the realness though! BTW still natural and going strong!

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Toni

  • Tatianna Elyse Lewis

    I definitely agree with you 100%. I’d watched Kerry’s video’s when I first decided to go natural. We had similar hair types so I followed some of her styling tips for myself. Maybe I’m biased because I’m in love with natural hair but I DO NOT AGREE with relaxing your hair because its “easier.” I keep my natural hair in protective styles all the time (simply because I don’t like the length of my hair right now). I love protective styles, I’ve tried them all and I’d definitely try that out before I punked out and permed my hair. With that being said, to each it’s own. Not everyone is going to be natural or stay natural. Peace

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Tattianna

  • Kelly

    Just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t make it a cop out. I love my natural hair but IT IS a lot of work. We are all individuals for a reason, if that is how she decides to do her own hair that is her business. No rain to try to compare your lifestyle to hers and how you would have handled it. You are not in her shoes.

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Kelly

  • Shontye

    It her hair, her life. It doesn’t mean she still can’t be helpful to the natural hair community. Like us with natural hair, I’m sure she’s had/have challenges as well and she did what’s best for her.

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Shontye

  • NappyFu

    “Kerry mentioned that she is currently keeping her hair “in a ponytail, a bun or under a lace front.” So basically she’s protective styling her relaxed hair. #noshade”

    Jumping on the tail of this statement this isn’t even a shade category statement. Its a fact. She’s still doing the same that could be done with her hair in its natural state. Lets ignore the action, it is indeed the excuse used that’s a bit eyebrow raising. The first thought that came to my mind was “wow how discouraging this can be to transitioning naturals and naturals who are contemplating going back natural.” In fact even naturals who feel comfortable with their hair. Cause one can not help but think “wow she’s been natural 3+ years and she couldn’t handle it, what about me?”……It can be euther encouraging or discouraging just deoends on the indivudual.

    I think when you’re a public youtube or world ofigure your decisions and statements should be considered a bit differently and filtered more. For the simple fact its going to effect others outside of your personal world, yours fans! I wish that she could of worded it in such a way that it doesn’t lead to discouragement or disappointment in some of her loyal followers. However it is what it is.

    Don’t allow this to stop your journey y’all she chose what she feel is best for her and we all know what works for one might not work others. She tried and now she has moved on.

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment NappyFu

      • NappyFu

        You’re welcome hun!

    • Ash Marie

      ITA.

  • Veronica Newman

    A lot of the Facebook comments are getting out of hand. lol. I agree with you 100%.

    I would also ad that it is your hair and your body. You have to do whatever you feel is best for you and not based on what your subscribers or anyone on the internet tells you. On the other hand, it does get on my nerves when I subscribe and follow someone for guidance on my natural hair and then they turn around and get it relaxed. People are on YouTube a lot these days building a brand and a following based on natural hair. They become a public figure so when you do something drastic and not tell your subscribers then yeah people are going to feel some type of way and have an opinion. So if you have nothing else to offer and then you get it relaxed then where is the incentive to stay? “I will just go unsub and go somewhere else” some people will probably say. She will probably get more subscribers from the relaxed crowd so I guess she is not losing much.

    At the end of the day its her life and she can do what she wants with her hair but she put herself on YouTube and in the public eye so if she is upset cause she is getting a negative response she should have just prepared her audience for it than just coming out with a video a year since her last one like “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I relaxed my hair, here’s and update.”

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell Stewart

      Thanks for your comment Veronica

      • folamix

        Her hair, her decision but I do feel some kind of way about the whole situation. My hair was not like hers anyway so I didn’t really follow her. I guess in her case, the short-term ease outweighed the long-term potential damage.

  • CountessK2010

    I think that it is a cop out. I have been natural for 3 years and for most of that time I’ve worn my hair in a ponytail. That is the easiest and most professional protective style that I can wear for working in the office. I run and bike so it helps to have an easy style that will fit under a hat or bike helmet. No way would I relax my hair at this point because it is already twice as thick as it was when I relaxed it. And if I just have to have it straight, I go to the salon and have it blown out. Going “natural” isn’t for everyone. I subscribe to the YT channels to get ideas on caring for my hair in its natural state. I hope that everyone doesn’t decide to flip the script! P.s. – I do not hate on women who rock relaxers…

    • MamaE

      Not everyone has hair which van be easily worn in a ponytail. Ponytails are y favourite hair style and I would be on cloud 9 if I could get my hair into a ponytail daily without it breaking off as it is.

  • Mary W

    How ridiculous is this? How can she hurt you? She doesn’t even know you and her decision had nothing to do with you, won’t take anything from you and she isn’t asking you for anything. She didn’t ask to be your friend in your head. Having natural hair does not make you a role model, being a kind, respectful, generous person does. Its hair, actually, its her hair.

    • nerissapartington

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  • Yan

    I personally think it’s a legitimate reason, I did the same. I did it for preference and just a new direction in my life. Will I be natural again one day? Maybe, but later in life. I’m 22 now. Hair is hair, as long as it’s healthy you’ll be okay.

  • Jessica

    I understand where she’s coming from ! I’m natural and I love my hair , I also love protective styling but I can give you the example of my mom that love’s her natural hair but can’t stand fake hair or anything but her hair on her head for that matter ! If you don’t like to see yourself with mini twists ( which is my case) or your hair doesn’t hold styles too well and on top of that you don’t like fake hair, I totally understand ! Instead of having your hair always in a bun you can always relax it and it would be much easier to do different styles ! And I’m sorry but no one here can tell me that natural hair it’s easier to style because that would be a lie ! If you don’t have the passion and are not blinded by this false idea that in order to be a black women you need to be natural , do you girl ! , At the end of the day it’s just hair !

  • Tiffany

    I think you have to do whatever fits your lifestyle. Protective styles are an option but with waist length hair, there is a significant time investment to wash, condition, detangle and then style. My hair is APL. I’m contemplating how many inches to take off because I don’t have time for the maintenance with a hubby, 2 kids and a job. I can’t say that I would never relax again because it might be the best option if I want length and easy day to day maintenance.

  • Tia

    Watching this video, you can clearly tell something is going on with her and styling her hair isn’t a priority right now. We need to stop thinking that we have any type of ownership over another person’s choices just because we see them on social media. The audacity of some people.

    • Sha-Keeba Hudson

      On her Facebook she states that she is going through a divorce.

    • Theresa Johnson

      Exactly Tia!

  • Nadegeous

    I think the whole point of the natural movement is to have people being confortable wearing their hair whatever way they want. not to force people into being natural. It is easier to have a relaxer, no one can be honest with themselves and deny that. I have been going natural lately, and the amount of time I have to spend in my hair makes no sense at all. I’ve managed to keep it to minimum, but I’m practically a slave to my hair. You have to ask yourself if this is what you want.

  • Theresa Johnson

    She’s going thru some things which is clear by her demeanor in her video and anyone who did watch her as a natural knows she wasn’t one for protective styling and she didn’t heat style all that much either. So for her it was either cut her hair off again which she may do in the future or relax and that’s what she did. It doesn’t even need to go any further than that. “Cop out, excuse” it’s her CHOICE isn’t that the point? For us to be able to choose what is best for our hair? Guess what, for one natural vlogger getting a relaxer there are three very well known relaxed hair bloggers transitioning to natural and you know what I don’t see women with relaxed hair going nearly as hard as some natural Nazis are, and trust there are far less relaxed vloggers than natural ones. We have gotten far too comfortable with demanding of others to influence our lives. Yes I was really excited when I found her channel as I made my decision to BC and after a while I learned she was MIA and you know what I did? I found other vloggers I could learn from and form friendships in my head with. And when I saw Kerry post something on fb today I quickly checked out her YouTube video and yea it was a lil sad but I didn’t return to natural bcuz of or for any blogger I did it for me! That fact in mind I’m the only real motivation I need to continue and as long as YouTube instagram fb pinterest are available there will always be someone else that you can learn from or keep you motivated if that’s what you’re so worried about. Dang y’all it’s never that serious it’s her hair her life.

  • Josie Lee

    I don’t think it’s a cop out because putting natural hair into a pony tail or protective styles takes a lot of time and effort. Relaxer is easier to deal with because it is easier to manipulate. I’ve been natural since 2009 and don’t think that I haven’t thought about going back to that creamy crack! lol I do think that there are other options though and that is why I haven’t gone back but for someone that isn’t interested in those options relaxing is the easier choice.

  • naturalforlife

    But relaxing hair isn’t about betraying being natural…it’s unhealthy for your hair and body…perms are full of very bad chemicals…so I’m disappointed that someone with such vast knowledge on the unhealthy way perms kill our hair and scalps and is still perming it because its “easier” is saying I’m lazy so instead of finding healthier ways to do your hair easily you opt for the worst solution…call it judgment if you want…but I’m not natural because it’s fun…cute…easy…or convenient I am natural because this is healthy for my body and it’s my hair…I’m sad about this! I hate when people give up on their hair…and make bad excuses…

  • saniel

    No wonder she has been gone so long. Will unsubscribe we nothing in common now.

  • Patrice

    I don’t think it’s a “cop out” that she relaxed her hair because it’s easier. I also don’t get why it would hurt anyone that this was her reason for doing so, it’s HER hair. I love Kerry and the only thing in disappointed about is she won’t be posting any cute natural styles for a while (if in fact she does decide to go back natural). To me it’s the same choice a breast feeding mom makes to stop breast feeding their child because it’s “easier” and doesn’t fit into their schedule. Should this mom be considered acop out for choosing to bottle feed over breast feeding her child because it’s “easier”? This is coming from a mom who had 4 kids, a hubby and two full time jobs and still managed to breast feed by pumping in advance. It’s called a choice and we all make the choice that’s best for us even though others may be “hurt” for God knows what reason. What’s easy for you could be hard for someone else and vice versa. A relaxer is an option and there is no law that says one should stay natural to be a role model to others.

  • teetee

    I don’t understand being hurt. I kind of understand being disappointed in the “We lost another one” sense. I respect her decision. This is what works for her. She can change her mind.

  • Jho

    I have been through a breakup and im sure most people here have too. Its one of those things that just knock the wind out of you, not to talk of a divorce! Lets be real here, when you are going through stuff like this the last thing you want to think about is your hair or your looks. Shes going through something, and for this stage of life that she is right now, relaxing her hair is easier for her to handle. Natural hair is time consuming and difficult. youv gotta do something to it like every single day to keep it going strong. im natural, have always been but i can put myself in her shoes and imagine how life might be for her right now.

    Its none of my business or anybody’s either what she chooses to do with her hair. she must have guven it thoght and decided it was better to relax than to chop it off. Imagine when you get to that stage where those are the only choices you have. it does sound like shez going through alot. Please let put aside our teeth, nails and prejudice and allow her the right to make her own choices in life and while u are at that, it wouldnt be too much to ask for prayers on her behalf.

    • Tray

      Jho. I totally agree with you. Having gone through a divorce myself 5 years ago, I chose to cut my hair short so that I didn’t have to worry so much about keeping it up. Sometimes when life happens we make decisions so that we can cope at that time. I believe that when its time she will go back to natural. Let’s give her a break and keep her in our prayers.

  • Rlxd2Natural

    I just hair…so please don’t judge or rip her to threads. Sheesh!!!

  • rollerderbylady

    I agree with the author of this article 100%. Commenters can really take a walk with the talk about there being no problem with the way Kerry explained her reason for perming again. You can perm. fine. but don’t take down my image of natural hair with you because it’s too difficult and time consuming. People of all cultures who want less hassle with hair cut it shorter. They do not straighten hair of the very same length. I had very long permed hair and found that to be time consuming because it has to be maintained very well to keep that length. Good luck to her. But I am happy these women are being weeded out from those of us who are perfectly happy with our natural hair and the steps we take to keep it looking healthy and beautiful. As with all groups, longer hair, means more care and effort. you don’t want to dedicate that time, your hair will suffer. done.

    • Lilacpearls

      I agree with you Roller. Being natural takes as long as being permed. Let’s get to the real psychological reasons why we want that permed, straight hair. Jenelle, I am glad you stepped out there, commented, and opened up the dialogue for us. It makes the natural hair community do some self-examination. With you being a popular blogger, I think it was courageous!

  • Vanessa

    Im laughing at some of these comments saying its a cop out…and this is why i stay off of social media.. Im the kind of person that will be natural today….dye my hair purple tomorrow…grow it out cut it off and perm it only to go back natural so i can texturize it….why compare what you would of done when your not in her shoes’…i never went natural to join the whole natural hair movement…some of you people are too crazy and wrapped up in other people hair strands

    • Trina

      Vanessa, you said it all right there. ENOUGH SAID**drops mic!

  • NattyQueenTrin

    I love being natural, but there is a such thing as healthy permed hair too. Long natural hair can be difficult to manage. I refuse to go longer than BSL. It’s her hair. She will likely big chop again anyway.

  • TheJaneTales

    If those are her hair goals, then those are her hair goals. The fight against texture discrimination isn’t won by challenging people who admire socially accepted hair types/length; it’s won by ensuring all types accepted.

  • Kay

    I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations…I am a soul that lives within. I am so surprised that people can be so unreasonable. For crying out loud, she’s going through a divorce!!!! I went natural while I was in medical school, in an abusive relationship and later on what seemed as a never ending divorce. I can understand why she did what she did…..wanting to shave it all off and wanting something different just to deal with life. Im not sure of the reasons surrounding her but you are not in her situation and its easy to say that what you never would do in a given situation. Im just happy that she is okay and moving ahead with her life. Divorce can be quite an ordeal to handle. Whether she chooses to go back to her natural texture or whatever she chooses as a person. Real life exists outside social media people.

  • Rose

    I agree that putting out there that natural hair is time consuming so it’s easier to relax irritates me too. If you want HEALTHY long hair then you are going to have to put time and effort into it whether you are relaxed or natural. Plain and simple.

  • StefHoney

    I understand exactly where Kelly is coming from. Sometimes you want the convenience of washing, detangling, and styling your hair in a matter of hours versus an entire “wash day.” There are days where I feel like going back to relaxer for the very same reason. It’s easier. Healthy long hair does not have to be natural. My hair was healthy and long when I was relaxed. Natural hair takes more time to maintain and keep healthy than relaxed hair. I think Kelly realized this and that’s why she had to make a decision to make maintaining her hair easier. She’s entitled to make a decision to change her hair for what ever reason. That does not mean it’s a cop out. It’s a choice and decision that she made for her lifestyle.

    • Ladylanita

      Well I think it’s just a trade off in time spent in different areas as opposed to one being less timely than the other. Once you relax your detangling sessions are easier, but it also requires regular upkeep at a salon. You REALLY have to be deep conditioning and using protein treatments to keep that old hair strong. You still have to spend time styling it. It took me 2 hours to style straight hair that was only shoulder length– an hour for sectioning and blow drying and an hour for curling/flat ironing. You can opt for a set, but that still takes time. Contrarily, my washngo styling takes 25-30 minutes. But it’s all about doing what’s best for you.

      • itgurl_29

        You do not have to go to a salon to maintain a relaxer. That is simply not true. There are a ton of relaxed youtubers with hair down their backs, and these woman haven’t stepped foot in anyone’s salon since they started their hair journey. Relaxed hair can be cared for at home just like natural hair.

        • Ladylanita

          Um, I’ve seen it and done it. That is not advised! You have to be able to apply products without overlapping them and see in the back of your head. Over time I would love to see someone maintain that without EVER needing to step foot into a hairdresser’s, not suffer chemical damage and not rely on their friends to do it at home. You don’t know what people claiming on the internet actually do. And honestly, the good stuff should only be sold to licensed hairdressers, unless you’re going to rely on at-home kits. The professional stuff sold illegally through those Asian markets and what not, you can’t even trust it.

          • itgurl_29

            This is why relaxed women are doing long stretches, as little as 3 months, so that they can see the line of demarcation easily. Go look on youtube. There are a ton of relaxed haired women taking care of their own hair, without the “help” of stylists, and their hair looks wonderful.

  • cheeks

    I love natural hair and doing my hair. I wear my hair in many ways. At the end of the day , I have to admit ,”it’s just hair”. I’ll say that to the boss who frowns at the afro at work but I’ll also say it to the woman who cringes at the perms and weaves. Yes, I get the symbolic nature of natural hair, but still. The styles change as time goes on and people shouldn’t have to corner themselves into a hole because the “straight hair” complex was used to make blacks feel inferior. Kerry used her hair journey to provide strategies and advice for others . I believe she did her job. We have to learn to inspire ourselves even after the gurus move on. I think the natural hair movement represents freedom and our rejection of the binds of prejudice used to derail black people. This movement, I would say, actual gives her the freedom to do whatever she likes with her hair because we have already declared that hair does not define the person,

    • Mattiegirl

      Very well said Trina, at the end of the day ‘it’s just hair’.

    • It’s all relative…

      I think what makes it not “just hair” is that people with straight hair will leave home with their straight roots showing even if they have a curly perm. They will get dressed up and go out wearing naturally brown hair even if they prefer blonde. Far too many Africans all over the world shun being seen in public with coily hair in a completely natural state. That is not a coincidence but a product of social conditioning and oppression. Some naturals gel their edges to hide them. Some naturals only consider it a good hair day if their curls are defined. Some relaxed women only feel beautiful when their roots are chemically straightened with poison that seeps into their blood. There is, clearly, something more going with the African woman than simply making a hairstyling choice. The issues we need to discuss concern health/wellness and self-acceptance/self-love.

  • Lola

    I get so annoyed that with things like this. It seems as though black women are pressured into wearing their hair natural, just because they are black. Better put, it seems as though just because I am black, I am expected or pressured to keep my hair in a certain way (natural). However, white/spanish/asian people are not bashed for changing their hair textures. A lot of my asian friends get special curly perm treatments so that they can keep their hair in curls. Or if a non black person with curly hair straightens it, then it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Women of all races should be allowed to do whatever they want to THEIR hair, for whatever reason they want. Stop bashing or calling it a “cop out” people shouldn’t be confined to certain actions because of their race!

    • Ladylanita

      Lola I have to agree with you. As much as I am all about rocking my natural hair for convenience and financial reasons (i.e. not being reliant on hairdressers), it shouldn’t really matter. I think what troubles people most is when black people are ashamed of their natural hair, speak poorly about it, and then project that negativity on to the next generation. But short of that there is nothing wrong with straightening your hair.

      • Lola

        I really liked some of the points you mentioned!

        However, I have been natural for almost six years, and have hated it for all six years. I feel like I have tried everything, and in the end, my hair is less healthy than it was when it was permed (it gets tangled so easily and breaks off). It has also cost me significantly more money and WAY more time to keep my hair natural. My hair growth is limited because my natural ends keep tangling and knotting. However, when my hair was permed, my ends were always straight and rarely tangled. Part of the reason I have stayed natural for so long is due to the pressure from other black women to stay natural (or be a “cop out”). Another reason, like you said, is because I see a lot of women with beautiful natural hair. However, after working on my hair for six years and spending well over $1,000, I just think everyone’s hair is different.

        • Rose

          I think you are misconstruing the authors point in the article. While she did mention her disappoint with the youtuber relaxing her main point is whether or not the REASON for her relaxing is a cop out not the actual fact that she did relax.

          • Ladylanita

            No I got that point. I addressed that somewhere else. In the last paragraph I wasn’t referring to Jenell’s post, it was a response to Simplyounique’s comment that relaxed hair is easier to take care of. I don’t know if that’s what you were referring to, but please correct me if I’m wrong.

          • itgurl_29

            “Cop out”? The vlogger does not owe anyone an explanation for what she chose to do with her hair. So the notion of a “cop out” doesn’t even come into play here. Y’all aren’t her mother. My goodness!

          • It’s all relative…

            I agree, Rose. We’re discussing a side issue that really is NOT at issue. We all agree that Kerry has every right to relax her hair. The topic of discussion has to do with the impact of a person preaching the virtues of natural hair vs. chemically treated hair while building up a large following only to relax her hair in the end. We can all sympathize with the stress Kerry has been under and only wish her peace and happiness. The real issue is one of principle. It is not personal.

        • Ladylanita

          Guurl, I feel you on that tangling mess. lol But I figured out what was causing my problem. Hey, at the end of the day you don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything. If it ain’t working for you, it ain’t working for you. I think in your case you knew how to take care of relaxed hair. Natural 4 hair needs less protein in the routine (that could have been what was causing your hair to snap idk) and no crazy stuff. Just the basic fundamentals. An oil treatment to pre-poo with. A shampoo that doesn’t tangle your hair and is PH balanced, a deep moisturizing conditioner, a detangler and a styling product. I use leave ins and stylers that have UV ray protection in at least one. I also swear by the L.O.C. method and that’s it. Keep it as simple as possible.

          • Sharleen Lewis Logan

            I do believe having my hair in its natural kinks and coils is a lot easier for me than having a chemical perm. But for some it can be challenging. Ladylanita I enjoy the same fundamentals as you.

        • It’s all relative…

          African people have had to figure out for themselves the proper styling tools, techniques, and products to use to maximize their hair’s health and beauty. Coily-curly hair is not unmanageable once these are determined. We, originally, didn’t have the R&D (products) or licensed cosmetologists (professional stylists) to enhance our natural appearance as others did. We were also indoctrinated with false ideas about our hair being inferior. That is a lot to overcome! Still, you and your hair are beautiful.

          Sister Lola, until you figure it out for yourself, go back to basics. Try the techniques our grandmothers used. Find a moisturizing shampoo, a moisturizing conditioner that doubles as a rinse out AND a leave-in, and pick up a jar of grease to use (very sparingly) as a sealant over your leave-in. Blue Magic, Royal Crown, and Softee Mango are popular. Buy pretty scarves, headbands, hats, and flowers to camouflage bad hair days. Take your time and tweak your regimen slowly but surely. This should at least minimize breakage. Expensive is not always better.

          No one should feel pressured or need a reason to “go natural.” Wearing our hair, skin, eyes, and bone structure as they were genetically predetermined to be should feel normal. The vast majority of people on the planet are natural. Benefits include avoiding toxins/poisons and loving yourself as God created you.

    • Lilacpearls

      Yeah, other cultures may alter their hair, but I believe it is due to the their unconscious belief that their hair has to be or measure up with that of the dominant culture.

  • <3

    Why is there so much pressure to be natural? Does it really matter what her reasons are? I think that the only reason to keep your hair natural should be to keep it healthy. So, if you can keep your hair healthy while permed, and prefer wearing it permed due to time constraints then I see no problem with that at all.

    • Crystal Blissfully-Married Fow

      As I am trained in Cosmetology and Natural hair… permed(relaxed) hair is never “really” healthy. With proper care it can appear that way, but the damage is done it permenant useless you cut it off. I would watch the documentary “GOOD HAIR” by Chris Rock. The bonds of the cuticle are broken down and more prone to dryness, and breakage. I think this natural, a favorite of mine too, was 3C in hair type, her hair was not so called “KINKY”. Relaxers are chemicals LYE (Sodium or Calcuim Hydroxide) on the hair and scalp to make it straight. Over time the hair will become brittle, break off, and thin as you age. Her hair already looks like its suffering on the ends. The only way to sort of keep the hair from breakage is to do the same things she was doing while natural, and have fewer touchups applications “text-lax” are what some call it, to new-growth maybe every 3-6 months instead of every 6 weeks as manufactors recommend because the lye will continue to break down the hair down to the tips. She will have to do more deep conditions, get more trims, and do just as much in protective styles, if not more. Especially if she wants to retain the lengths she achieved while natural. I don’t know, I feel she could have achieved the same look with heat.The Dominican Blow Out method, with static rollers and a concertated blow dryer could have gotten her this silky effect. It typically last 2-3 weeks depending on care, humidity, and hair texture. The more heat was used (I recomment once every 6-8 weeks) the less the hair would revert back to its natural kinky curly state, thus making it more managable, less tangles, and easy to comb. One still has to be careful with heat, but I truly believe this is better than relaxing. #tooeachherown

  • Ladylanita

    I was able to achieve hair that was bra strap length when it was relaxed, but it didn’t last long. :/ Her ends look a little skimpy to me. Only time will tell if she can maintain her length while it’s relaxed. But it shouldn’t be the end of the world. However some black women really set that as an important goal so if it’s important to her, DC’s and protective styling are going to be the name of the game. Keracare hands down has the best product line for relaxed hair (the original line). And Aphogee’s protein treatment is really good.

  • unque43

    My decision to go natural was because I did not have the time to sit at the salon every week, and I really wanted to eliminate the use of the relaxer chemicals in my hair. the burning of my scalp at times were terrible. Some people can do the relaxer at home. I never wanted to take that role. However, there have been times in the three years of me being natural, I have thought about it. Only because I had not prepared my hair the night before and had awaken late and did not feel like fussing with my hair.. I quickly over came that thought each time. I have decided to have my hair braided for a while, That way I can have a break at least with the styling. I will still do my routine haircare. I understand when you find someone who you can relate to and they chance it up. By no means did I get that you were judging, what I got was that someone who had given you had gotten advice from, had changed. Yes pretty much like when you were on the no shampoo days. Now I listened to you on a lot of things, but not on that. I always used a gentle shampoo, even when I was relaxed. I have never had concern with how long my hair grew, but wanted it healthy. Believe me I have had unhealthy hair and done many BC even when I was relaxed. Healthy hair is my number one concern. You got me through my beginning days of being natural and transistioning. Now she can transistion to those who need help with relaxed hair. She may also have some tips for us natural sisters. I mean if I saw her YT channel and saw her relaxed, being natural I would not view, but there are many that she can help if she chooses to go that route. I have never made a issue out of being natural and I did not get that you are that way, but some of the comments are kind of doind that. I understand what you are saying when you say own your decision. If you ask me and no one has, but I am going to say it. I kind of get from her reasoning for relaxing that she wanted that length that is provided with relaxed her. Her hair has grown and I think she wanted to go that route for that reason. There are too many things that one can do to have worry free styling.with their hair, But like so many have stated here tha’s her decision. I had never watch her channel, but I kinda imagine I would feel like you if I saw a video of you with Relaxed hair my mouth would be stuck wide opened, for a little while. But it would be your decision.

  • Ariel Cormier

    She’s a grown woman who can do whatever she want to do whatever she wants to do to HER hair… people lose sight of the fact that no matter what state your hair is in, it’s not what defines you. You have so much to say about what she “could have done” but what you fail to realize is that she did EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL SHE WANTED TO DO and blogging about it isn’t going to change that. This lady expressed that she’s going through something in her life, and you blog about her hair probably with the intent that she sees it? how “uplifting” of you..

  • itgurl_29

    I am soooooo over the judgement in the natural hair community. This is a grown woman. Why anyone would be “disappointed” with another woman for choosing to wear her hair as she pleases is simply beyond me. But this is the kind of thinking you find with too many natural haired sistas. I’ve been natural since 2002. I “big chopped” before the phrase ever existed. I permed my hair in 2006 because it was easier. Yes, that’s right, I said it was easier. It’s far easier to just wrap your straight hair at night and then throw it in a ponytail the next day than it is to be doing all kinds of twists and braids before you go to bed. That’ not self-hating, it’s was just the reality of my lifestyle at the time. I big chopped again in 2008 and have remained natural ever since. I am the same person even though my hair is now kinky as opposed to straight. And who knows, I may perm it again. Why? Because I can and it’s MY hair.

    All these natural hair rules and regulations are ridiculous at this point. SimplyYounique’s hair is just as beautiful and strong and healthy as it was when she was natural. She’s reached her goal length and is obviously proud of her hair. Why anyone thinks they have the right to be “disappointed” with her needs to ask themselves why. Like, for real.

    And as for the natural hair community, I find this haughy judgement against sisters with permed hair to be hypocritical, to say the least. The fact that the majority of us will spend hours twisting our hair to mimic a curl pattern that we don’t have naturally while judging another black women for getting a relaxer is pretty hilarious. All this and now you’ve got naturals fighting to let white women in the movement. Clean your own house before you judge black women with permed hair.

    • It’s all relative…

      Every woman has a right to decide how to wear her hair–purple, blue, green, short, long, spiked, shaved, coily, curly, wavy, or straight. That, however, is not the point. We have created a false narrative.

      The issue at hand is bigger than Kerry. The topic of discussion concerns African people and their journey to good health, self-love, and prosperity. We are still learning how to project a respectable, public image without making drastic, toxic/poisonous alterations to our genetically predetermined features.

      By perming her hair, Kerry seems to have reenforced the perception that coily-curly African hair is unmanageable and, therefore, inferior. Who says we have to spritz, twist, and braid for hours each night? There are other options.

      Perhaps we don’t think about this issue on a global scale, but African people are disenfranchised and disrespected all over the world. Until we, collectively, accept, respect, and love ourselves in every way, we will not earn the respect of others.

      Some of our personal choices tell the world that we view ourselves as nappy, n*ggers, b*tches, m*nkeys, h*es, ugly, stupid, criminals, and inferior. Despite our many strides and accomplishments, a negative image of us persists. It contributes to the harassment, discrimination, prejudices, and injustices we face around the world. It, also, limits our children’s ability to reach their highest potential.

      Kerry is her own woman, and this issue is much deeper than the roots of our hair follicles. I will keep Kerry in my thoughts and prayers. It was apparent from her lengthy absence as well as the way she looked in the “just married and moved to TX” video that all was not well. I wish her the very best on her journey.

  • nolamom1215

    I understand that it is hard to see someone you admire make a change to the thing that you admire about them but at the end of the day it is her hair. Not everyone is in a committed relationship to natural hair. I went natural on a random whim after years of swearing that I never would because I was fearful of my hair texture after being relaxed all of my life.
    I make all of my hair decisions randomly so I could cut, dye, etc today and do something totally different next month.

  • Lilacpearls

    Permed hair, in my opinion is hypocritical. Washing, twisting, braiding, etc. is a natural upkeep of our “natural ” hair without chemicals–which IS part of the natural hair journey or movement. I have been natural for over 35 years. I grew up during the “Black Power” era and we let chemicals go and embraced our kinks and our African heritage. It was not a fad for us, but a symbol of accepting and loving our natural selves.

    • MzRich

      That is why I went natural..to embrace the real “natural” me. I’m not part of the fad but I will say I am part of the movement. I would love to see more women embrace their natural curls, coils, and kinks. Just let it be! I think it will be great for the younger generation of black girls coming up. I don’t want my daughter to think that something is “wrong” with the way her hair grows out of her head.

    • jihan

      I have been natural going on 3 years. I went through 27 years of burning my scalp to have straight socially acceptable hair. For years I was ashamed of kinky hair I had reseravations about going natural because I knew that once I went natural I would get the negative comments like girl you need to comb your head and your hair look nasty. The thing that encouraged me was the natural hair bloggers that helped me embrass the hair God gave me. To see a natural hair blogger go back to being relaxed is like a vegan blogger with a large fan base turn around one day and say it is too hard to be vegan so I am going to eat ribs right in my vegan viewers face. That is the only way I can descride the betrayal. I know it is only hair,but hair is your crown and have’nt we, as black women hidden our crown long enough.

      • lilkunta

        great example with the vegan blogger saying it is too hard i am going to eat meat !

  • c

    You sound like you’re judging and throwing shade. Bitch move

    • Lilacpearls

      Not judging. Just stating what occurred back in the day, before there was such a thing as “a natural hair journey or movement.”

    • Danielle

      Stop watching so much Latoya.

    • candycane

      You must be a curl chaser :)

  • dean

    It looks like at the end of it all, black women on a whole seems to prefer to have hair like everyone else. Straight, but lets be real, straight hair and 3abc hair is what black women on a whole want. With mass media throwing it in our face everyday of pro-straight hair, I get why its so. Relaxers were made for one reason. To assimilate to euro beauty standards. Relaxers are nor healthy and relaxed hair isn’t healthy hair, you just maintain a faux healthy look. With all the info about being natural, I fear eventually it will die out/die down and relaxers and weaves will return to it’s former glory and our wonderful ethnic trait will be back to wear it was, a taboo. Straight hair is unnatural to black people and it will always look not right.
    It’a her head but she just feeding into the notion of natural is unmanageable and perms are better, it’s always the end road and the one black women will always take. Always. I really don’t see a mass majorty of black people loving their ethnic traits. We will always on a whole hate being black and want to appear less black as possible.
    She is not natural anymore and is a waste to continue watching. She can go do relaxed hair videos, she won’t be short on this viewer hits to fill her purse.

    • itgurl_29

      Before natural haired women lecture permed hair women on chasing after Eurocentric beauty ideals, they need to let go of their constant quest for “curl definition”. The natural community is obsessed with having hair that emulates what is mostly seen on the heads of biracial woman. How is that any better than lusting for the straight hair of a white woman. Nearly every natural hair styling product revolves around “defining the curls”. The vast majority of black women don’t have curls, we have KINKS. So until the natural hair community becomes focused on embracing and highlighting KINKS and not searching for the ever elusive “curl definition”, then we are the real hypocrites.

      Naturals are throwing stones in a glass house.

      • Lilacpearls

        Nicely said!

      • Doris Mers

        I hear you! I went natural a year or so. I co wash my hair daily (ok most days) I use tressemme condition most days. I love my 4 what ever you choose to call it kinky coily hair. Wash and go!

      • Adale C.

        Wow!! Well said! I’ve been natural 2.5 years and the whole curl defining, hair typing scale works my nerves. I have no idea what my hair type is other than “healthy”.

      • candycane

        Now that was good, you said it. Everyone is chasing a curl. How often do you see a woman wearing a fro. You are right too about curls being associated with a woman of a certain color shade. When you’re darker skinned with curly hair people think that you did something to it. There was a time when everyone wanted the best fro. We spent big money on salon visits to relax our hair and now we spend countless $$$ on curling products.

        • lilkunta

          i see many afros.but not everyone wants an afro.

          and what shade /complexions is associated with curls ?

      • lilkunta

        stop speaking for the majority and speak for yourself.
        i dont have kinks. i have coils.
        wanting to define your hair isnot seeking euro beauty as euros beauty is straight hair.

    • Lilacpearls

      Wow! You stated it loud and clear. Natural hair for some has become a fad and not embracing our natural hair textures. Some of us are still subconsciously trying to seek after the hair texture that is close to or acceptable bty the dominant culture.

    • Ronni

      Dean has made the best response…even better than the article. We need to train ourselves to be more comfortable with our natural beauty.

    • lilkunta

      i def dont think the natural hair will die down and chemicals will rise again.

  • http://www.muchdearlyloved.com Ynette Evans

    I know what you mean about being semi-attached to your online hair role models. I am sad that she decided to relax her hair because it was easier, simply because it could cause other naturals that are struggling with their hair to “give up.” She did however give it a good long go, so I commend her for that. But, at the end of the day, its her hair and her life, and if that’s what she wants to do, she have every right to do.

  • Doop

    I’m a lot happier with hair being natural. I’m almost afraid to straighten it with heat again let alone a relaxer. I went from having a crappy ponytail to a cute puff. But that’s just me. Hopefully the chemicals don’t eat her hair up like mine :(

  • Sharleen Lewis Logan

    All the best to her on her new journey. The ride with her was great and I have always and will continue to enjoy her videos as I continue my natural journey.

  • Roxy

    I was natural for 9 years. I loved my natural hair from the moment I cut off all of the relaxer. Then I started teaching. I worked 12 hour days plus weekends (that never really changed btw). One Sunday, about 4 months into my teaching career, after spending about 3 hours washing, detangling, and blow drying my hair, I found myself trying to twist my hair and grade essays at the same time. It wasn’t working. I had thick, 4b/c, apl hair. I just couldn’t do it anymore. The next week I got a relaxer. I recently quit teaching and am so excited to be newly natural again. (I used Design Essentials STS to transition for 2years. What a godsend!). I get a little disappointed when naturals relax their hair. But I now am a lot more sympathetic than I was 8 years ago.

    • lilkunta

      roxy, when you were teaching you didnt do braids, or twists or a wig .these all save time.

      welcomeback to the natural hair!

      • Roxy

        No. I had worn braids during most of my college years and noticed thinning at the edges. Hair loss runs in the family, so I sort of swore extensions off. Relaxers probably weren’t any better, but that was my thinking at the time. I also don’t feel comfortable with wigs for whatever reason.

  • C. BrownOcean

    You are judging and throwing shade. Relaxed hair is easier to manage than natural. Who the hell wants to spend extra hours on hair when there’s a life to live?
    Now, what’s wrong with protecting relaxed hair? Its still hair.

    • No it’s not easier to manage relaxed hair than natural hair. That’s what she was stating that lots of people think a relaxer is easier to manage. That’s a down right lie. Going to a salon or buying a perm every month is not easier than throwing hair into a braid or bun. People just believe it is out of habit.

      • C. BrownOcean

        -_-
        Most ppl are not relaxing every month. Anyway, the time it takes to pre-poo, shampoo, condition and that damn entangling session can turn into a work shift. Even a was and go is not just that.

        • lilkunta

          if you keep your hair and scalp and especially your ends moist and oiled you wont have to do a detangling session.

    • SoSophisticated_Natural_Me

      What makes you think that relaxed hair is “easier” to maintain? That is definitely not true!!! What the hell??

      • C. BrownOcean

        I’ve had both. That’s how I know. My daughter with 3a-3c hair is also easier to manage straight. We don’t have relaxers though.

    • Crystal Blissfully-Married Fow

      Uhm… it is easier to manage? That is the one reason many women went natural in the first place. No water (swimming, steamy shower, or rain) did you forget that…after a fresh perm/relaxer that is a NO GO! How about sweating it out after sex or the gym. Hours at the hair dresser bi-weekly. Dryness and brittle ends your stylist seems to cut every 6-8 weeks when you just grew it out. How about hair falling out due to over processing with Color or chemical burns to scalp. The expense of relaxers $60-100. Oh and the hair weave when you just don’t have time to keep dealing with your hair….because with the breakage and trims, is just does not seem to get longer “retain” enough length..so you pay for $100-$500 Weave in between relaxers to give it a break …smh…easier to manage my ass.

      • C. BrownOcean

        Take ya extra regular @$$ Down to West Bubble Phuck. Me saying it’s easier is MY OPINION. I do my own hair from start to finish and everything in between, so all that ish you’re talking about there don’t apply to me.
        Natural hair………easier to manage MY ASS.

        • Crystal Blissfully-Married Fow

          Lol…woman who are you mad at? I merely disagreed. Calm down.

        • lilkunta

          how about you go away. we are adults in adult conversation.

      • lilkunta

        amen.

  • James Bari

    Saying you’re not judging doesn’t mean that you aren’t. Ridiculous.

  • Tweet

    hi

  • Tweet

    I am very shocked that no one has mentioned that Simplyounique’s hair was texlaxed towards the end of her journey. I am not shocked that she got a relaxer because it was clear as day that she had begun the processing of her hair. All of a sudden her natural hair texture changed and she blamed it on eco styler argan oil. What a shame that she would lie to her subscribers this way and insult their intelligence. Her last few videos show hair that is flat and limp with no texture. Her edges lay liked relaxed hair. In my opinion, she over processed her hair with the texlax as some point and just decided that she would have to relax it. People please go on her youtube and really look at the final few videos with an open mind and not be swayed by your loyalty and you will see that this woman was conning the hell out of her subscribers by passing hair that was processed as natural hair.

    • MissRell Soclassy Petty

      I agree. Many of her later vids show limp hair that appeared to be relaxed. Very fine at the root but curly on the ends

    • lilkunta

      wowo i didnt know she used a texturiser. hmm.
      i didnt know she was going thru a div.
      well, once her hair starts breaking off maybe she’ll cut it short
      like bernadette did in waiting to exhale.

  • Rynnie

    Why so much hatred? You guys are being way to JUDGMENTAL! This is sad and ridiculous. She clearly stated that life has been hard on her, she doesn’t have time for twist-outs and Bantu-knots anymore! she relaxed her because it was more simple for her “current” life status, and she is being criticized for that. If she had kept her hair natural and NOT properly maintained it, she would be criticized for that as well. She is a grown black woman, let her continue to grow in God as she always have, as she deals with her life struggles. Her hair is long, strong, and maintained. She relaxed her hair… So What??? It is not your hair, it’s her’s! Please be understanding, as it deals with others in the natural hair community.

  • amanda

    Some of Us went natural because we want healthier hair. I have been natural for 3 years (it is bra strap length) and my hair is worn straight most of the time. Why? Because that’s my preference. Just because I don’t wear twist outs daily doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of my kinks because I wear my hair curly or straight but since its my hair I can wear it how I want! Kerry is going through a divorce and just because she isn’t handling it how YOU would doesn’t mean she is handling it wrong. Keep her in your prayers and keep it moving. Thank you!!

    • Hair today gone tomorrow

      Finally someone with a brain!

      • Chantal Brown

        Shut up TROLL!!!! People don’t have to agree with relaxing!

  • Victoria

    I’m highly disappointed that she relaxed her hair too. It’s only a matter of time before it breaks off! That lye is a lie hunny!! With a perm, healthy hair is only temporary!!

    • Chantal Brown

      I agree! We don’t have to agree with every choice a person makes. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

  • MissRell Soclassy Petty

    I definitely don’t knock her for relaxing her hair. Different strokes for different folks, ya know? It certainly wouldn’t be my first option. I will wear a wig in a heartbeat! Perhaps protective styling or straightening her hair was not in her budget but like you said, she’s protecting her relaxed hair so its pretty much the same thing. I’d like to think that relaxing her hair was a spur of the moment decision that was made in the midst of her stressful situation.

  • SoSophisticated_Natural_Me

    I DEFINITELY understand the hurt and disappointment you experienced after viewing this video, as I would feel the same way if you or someone else I follow rather religiously did the same. I also DEFINITELY don’t agree with the plea that relaxing was “easier.” There are just TOO MANY other options for convenience, for natural hair that are HEALTHIER and logical.
    Maybe it’s naive of me, but I really thought that at some point, relaxing just stopped being an option for a natural. Hmmph…I guess I was wrong. I think she made a selfish decision, which she obviously has that right, but I too feel that her reasoning was not valid.
    That is my opinion.

    • Hair today gone tomorrow

      You people do realise its just hair right? It will grow back and she can go natural again. Get over yourselves!

      • SoSophisticated_Natural_Me

        You coulda kept that shit to yourself, boo!! You Are CLEARLY missing the ENTIRE point!

        • MizJay

          She made the best decision for Kerry. We (you, me and everyone else on God’s earth) all make decisions based on what is best for us or our families without taking anyone else’s opinion into consideration.

  • Voz

    Ok, so when will someone actually answer the question and leave Kerry’s life out of it?

    “Is relaxing your hair after years of being natural because it’s easier a legitimate reason or a cop out?”

    • michie

      A cop out for what??? There is no commandment that says thou shouldeth noteth relaxeth thy natural haireth. I’m sure God is not mad with anyone for how they choose to wear their hair. Its to be enjoyed and if enjoying it is relaxed, then so let it be.

      • lilkunta

        there isnt a commandment for or against natural hair.
        but if we were to have straight hair it would grow out of out scalps like that.

        • MizJay

          It’s simply hair. Nobody is going to hell for relaxing.

  • MzRich

    Why are people judging the people who are “judging”? Why can’t we have an opinion these days without being judgmental. This is a place for comments right???

  • deniece

    It is definitely a legitimate reason. I myself was natural for 12 years before anyone knew what naturalwas and I recently relaxed my hair because natural is indeed hard to style and maintain. Some people don’t have the time to maintain natural hsir because it is indeed more demanding. I tried the blowout with my natural hair but because I work out three to four times a week I could not maintain that slick look I wanted when my hair was in a bun so I relaxed just my roots and it definitely has made things easier.

  • Tamara Terrell

    Awwww Man! It’s only disappointing to me because she got me on the natural band wagon a year and half ago and inspired me sooooo much through her videos! But ultimately it is her decision. I won’t be relaxing again but good luck to her. She’s a really nice girl :)

    • Miche

      Kerry really is a nice, sweet and loving person, unlike this author who clearly has slandered her. It is just hair that as we know can fall out and break off at any given time. Pride is a terrible thing and the author should remember that just because you’re riding high today doesn’t mean that you will be tomorrow. What about supporting a sister when she’s down. This was plain ole selfish and malicious on the author’s part. Why would she call her out like this is disturbing and shows her own true heart.

      • lilkunta

        please re read jenell’s post. she absolutely didnt tear down kerry.
        jenell did not slander her.

  • Nakikke Wallace Johnson

    I myself have done the same as above. I was natural for about 2.5 years. When I became engaged and started planning my wedding, my natural hair wasn’t exactly what I invisoned with my dress and the whole “look of my wedding.” I decided to relax my hair 1. because my hair … notice I said my hair … grows faster when it is relaxed. I took vitamins, stretch my relaxers, tried to take care of my scalp, etc… 2. The maintenance for me was easier with relaxed hair. I didn’t have to spend countless hours twisting hair or fighting with my hair on a daily because I never knew how the style I was trying to achieve would turn out. So I relaxed and I truly treated my relaxed hair journey the same as my natural. I had a healthy head of hair but my scalp suffered (due to I am allergic to sulfer) so a year later I returned to my natural hair and I still love it. The only reason why it is so easy for me to maintain is because I now wear my natural hair in a low fade. I am still a fan of Kerry’s? Yes I am and I think that we forget that is … omg … dare I say it? Just hair… if and when she so chooses she can always return to natural hair.

  • Camile

    It’s a legitimate reason. Just because that wouldn’t be easier for you doesn’t mean that wasn’t the easier option for her. It isn’t easy for everyone to do their natural hair. Sorry but her reasoning is legitimate. Let’s stop acting likenatural hair is easy. Is it healthier? Yes but it’s not easy for everyone.

  • dana monroe

    It’s irresponsible as a blogger to make such blatant statements against another blogger. You could have just did a video or a blog offering natural alternatives to women going through similar situations and not linked it in any way to Simplyounique and encouraging them how they can maintain natural hair in a low maintenance way when facing difficult times. You feel you remained neutral bc while you clearly showed disdain for her decision you sprinkled a little positive in. That’s like stabbing someone then nursing the wound.As a married woman yourself you should have been more encouraging bc a divorce really is like a death for many people. So self righteous and so very sad. I hope Simplyounique is not affected by this. None of us know how devastating the circumstances were that prompted her divorce and you somewhere sitting on your high horse in a twistout in Brooklyn thinking you know what this woman is going through and what you would do under devastating circumstances. A baby, a house, a husband may be stressful life events but POSITIVE life events. How dare you compare that to a divorce. I did not expect this from you

    • kimmylove
  • dana monroe

    And…let’s keep it all the way real…NATURAL HAIR IS MORE WORK. I wish ppl would just admit this and just say its more work BUT WORTH IT. I don’t care how many fast routines ppl invent, it would still take a fraction of the time on relaxed hair. Even if she protective styled her natural hair she is still going to encounter detangling sessions that are essentially non-existent on relaxed hair. Now relaxed hair is not for me and I pray I personally never get the idea to relax again esp since I find them unhealthy for myself personally. BUT I would NEVER judge or tell another woman what to do with her hair or what she should have done. If you ask me some of these other youtubers would’ve prob tex- laxed by now if being natural was not stuffing their pockets so lucratively.

    • Ladylanita

      Dana, I don’t know what type of routine you had with your relaxed hair, but my natural hair routine is definitely less work. First off, I styled my own hair when it was natural AND relaxed. Most black women I know don’t even touch their own heads when it’s relaxed so of course once they go natural and have to do it themselves, it’s more work! Not saying that’s you, just the realities of what I’ve seen.
      From start to finish my routine relaxed (shoulder-length hair) and natural.(when dry stops above my ear)
      Relaxed
      -Washing session (including detangling): 5-10 minutes tops
      -Blow-drying (involves sectioning hair into workable sections) 1 hour
      -Flat & Curling ironing hair: 1 hour
      Natural
      -Pre-poo (cheapie conditioner and oils to detangle before entering shower) 5-10 minutes
      - Washing session:roughly 10 minutes for hair alone
      - Wash and go: 25-30 minutes
      - Hood dryer (optional): 15-30 minutes

      • dana monroe

        Girl…you are neck length. I am waist length. We don’t have the same problems with all due respect. When my hair was shorter it was much simpler. But when you are talking about hair my length and age ( 3 1/2 years ) you have to handle it differently. Also, I am very involved in the natural hair community and while I am in no way saying people are spending hours detangling , I have yet to meet a natural past TWA stage that can spend 5 minutes detangling especially if they are paying extra care to their hair. I had long relaxed hair and my only maintenance was unwrapping, that’s it. My wash sessions were nothing like they are now and detangling was a breeze. With that being said, I LOVE my natural hair, and it’s worth the time . I am simply being honest about my experience and the experience of hundreds of other women who are natural that I come across.. My whole point was I don’t understand how the author can judge what somebody else should have or could have done during a traumatic experience in their life. ESPECIALLY when no one knows the circumstances surrounding the divorce and what the residual burdens or consequences this woman has to bear. At some point, our sisterhood and humanity must surpass a hair movement whether opinions are general or motivated by the BUSINESS this natural

        • dana monroe

          (Cont from above) ….hair generates for bloggers like Jennell. This movement has become a BUSINESS for a lot of these vloggers. Perhaps her fear of a popular vlogger relaxing abd the domino effect it could have on naturals reverting back to relaxers, and losing the business she’s created around natural hair is why she addressed this in the manner she did.

          • Ladylanita

            You raise some valid points, but some people truly are just, for lack of a better word, “worried” for altruistic reasons. They believe this “movement” is causing a paradigm shift within and outside of our community. I’m ALL about that! But we do have to remember what’s best for one is not best for all. Having said that, there are enough of us walking around with chemically straightened hair and I think it is largely influenced by lack of knowledge for how to maintain our natural hair and also culturalization that there is something wrong with it. That’s the problem I wish to see tackled head on!
            I’ve reached bra-strap length with relaxed hair, never waist length and don’t know if I could honestly stomach that. Bra-strap length was enough of a challenge dealing with it getting caught in everything. I had a roommate from India during college who could sit on her hair and she also had to deal with some pretty nasty knots. So unfortunately that seems to come along with the territory of having long hair irrespective of the texture. Although my hair is actually chin length at this point, it is super coily and does get tangles. But I found archived Curly Nikki thread’s, Naptural85′s 25 co-wash detangling video on youtube and also Hairscapades suggestions to pre-poo with a cheapier conditioner that has slip and coconut oil pretty much remedies that problem. The tangles literally melt out of my hair before I hop in the shower. Every problem has a solution and in terms of our hair it’s good when women know a relaxer isn’t the “be all” cure just because you haven’t figured it all out yet.
            Anyway, I’m glad you take pride in your hair and have learned to honor what you were blessed with. One of our biggest problems is that we tend to suffer from a “grass is greener mentality”. We think everyone else has it easier when they have to put just as much work into making their hair look stylish, unless you just want to walk around with a ponytail or a bun everyday. Hair takes work, PERIOD! Be grateful G_d gave you some before he takes it away.

          • lilkunta

            wonderful post. all points true. i too read shelli’s escapades and watch naptural 85. conditioning and keeping ends moist and oiled is key to prevent tangles and single strand knots.

            ps have you heard shelli’s news. she is pregnant!

          • Ladylanita

            That’s wonderful news!! Last time I checked on Hairscapades she was getting hitched.
            I agree with you on the maintenance aspect. And honestly keeping those ends moisturized is still important even when your relaxed. I use to neglect doing it and my hair suffered. But since I’ve gone natural with the help of online communities like this, I’ve definitely been more disciplined with sticking to a regimen.

        • http://christijohnson.org ChristiJohnsonDotOrg

          Naptual85 can do a 25 minute pre-poo, wash, and style, and her hair is nearly WSL. It can be done if you prepare. The pre-poo is the trick. I’m just saying…it can be done. Great comment. :)

        • lilkunta

          do you keep your ends oiled ? why is your hair so tangled ?

  • The Angel

    Please get over it. Natural hair is hard work. I have been natural over 15 years and there is barely a day I do not struggle to keep my hair untangled. I work out almost 5 days a week and my hair starts to frizz when I take a simple bath. There is nothing wrong with a relaxer. Every person is different and I am tired of people who are natural and look down on people who are not.

    • Auny

      I completely agree! I am a not-so-natural natural. Although I have been natural for roughly 7 years, I keep it pressed out and am tempted to relax. So much easier to unwrap and go in the morning than take an hour or more trying to get this hair to cooperate. When I do wear it in a natural state, it does frizz and get big during workouts or baths. If a person wishes to relax it is their business. Not to mention that I live in a region which is dreadfully hot and humid from late spring through mid fall.

    • lilkunta

      there is nothing wrong with putting lye on your scalp and hair ? ok i have a bridge to sell to you.

    • http://christijohnson.org ChristiJohnsonDotOrg

      PREACH!

  • Indeed Love/DJ MUAH

    Hold up… I watched the video too, but I didn’t at one moment think that her statement of getting a relaxer because it was easier, in correlation to “Relaxed” hair being better, easier, or more manageable than her previously natural hair. It was very evident that she may have been going through a time in her life that could have been taxing or difficult, thus the hair change to something simpler or quicker for her current lifestyle or situation during that time. Dang @ the author, I think you were reaching a bit on that one.
    Firstly, let’s remember that though someone is “deemed” a natural hair guru by an unseen (almost imaginary) group of others; or that you pulled inspiration from someone that motivated you in some sort of way in your life; it doesn’t mean that the person/motivator is bound to whatever they are doing at the moment. She’s not the clergy. Her hair journey natural, relaxed or other is hers and hers alone.

    Personally I’ve been natural, relaxed and everything in between, had healthy hair during all of it with some pitfalls here & there. I accepted my brown skin and kinky hair as a teen, and was totally belittled by my “lighter-skined” family members (granny included), for doing so. But so what, I liked me! I rocked fro’s, knots, twist and locs, when they didn’t have all these cool names and acronyms. In the 90′s when the brothers wasn’t feeling it, (at all!). And when many a fronting Sista would give side eyes and want to touch my locs/fro/knots as if their own roots weren’t nappy! #delusionalasusual
    Still in all, I’m still happy to see a plethora women finally coming around to learning their hair. Great for you! This “new” natural hair revolution, though “very trendy” still has a beautiful purpose which is “Self discovery”…(period). So I’m commenting simply to ask that we remember that everyone’s hair/life journeys are personal and different; so don’t knock a person for where they are on their particular path.
    Articles like these are counter productive. She’s human, I don’t know her, but I commend Simply Younique and anyone else for sharing any portion of their personal journey. Do what makes you happy, and look good doing it. Now back to my coffee, I’m done.
    Love & Light – Indeed.

    • http://christijohnson.org ChristiJohnsonDotOrg

      Amen!

    • lilkunta

      i dont think jenell’s article is counter productive. simpl became known for her natural hair so that is why she has a following. so of course when her hair isnt natural we all are wlike wtf ?

  • Juanita

    Awww man….I used to watch the heck out of her videos. I actually JUST unsubscribed since she stopped making more. I figured she was gone for good.

    To see she relaxed her hair after so much (obvious) progress is a little disappointing. But, to be honest, I’d rather it be HER than ME. I can’t imagine growing my hair to waist length, relaxing it, and then complaining about it breaking off… 0_o

    To each their own. I know how to buy a wig if I get that tired.

    • lilkunta

      amen to the wig. i dont get why is she was so busy or stressed she didnt get a wig or weave. how is relaxing easier ?

  • http://christijohnson.org ChristiJohnsonDotOrg

    I think it IS easier to have relaxed hair. Honestly…with all that we know about protective styling and taking care of our hair, we could easily stretch relaxers and take SO much better of our hair if we did choose to relax, again.

    I have been relaxed and natural. The longest my hair got was BSL before I cut it…but I got to a point where the time it took to take care of my hair was a bit much. I would not relax again…but I thought of it, because I knew it would have been easier to care for than my natural hair. My daughter is natural, and she keeps her hair flat ironed for ease, as well. Hopefully, you don’t take issue for too much longer with her use of that word “easier” because I’m pretty sure she told the truth.

    Great article! Thank you for taking time to share the story with us! :)

    • lilkunta

      how is it easier to have chemical relaxed hair ? you are afraid of water. plus what about scalp burns.
      if your hair was to BSL and it was too much, why not cut it to shoulder length ?
      what about keeping your hair in braids and twists ?

      • http://christijohnson.org ChristiJohnsonDotOrg

        I didn’t cut my hair because my hair was too much. I cut it because the time it took to take care of it was too much. I loved the hair, itself, but I didn’t want to spend ANY time styling. None.

        So…I did what was best for me at the time. I remember when I was natural that styling took way less time. I relaxed and styled my own hair. It was great…but I disliked the chemical process, which is why I stayed natural this time.

        I doubt I will ever relax again.

        That written, part of what irks me about some natural hair believers is that whatever we do with our hair is OUR business…and we should support one another, no matter what.

        Know what I mean? I am sure that you meant no harm…but some others can be very rude. Thank you for asking kindly. :)

        • lilkunta

          o ok. i think both natural and relaxed hair takes time and needs care. so the pics is how you are now, a short afro / twa ?

          _That written, part of what irks me about some natural hair believers is
          that whatever we do with our hair is OUR business…and we should
          support one another, no matter what.__
          i disagree. if you are putting yourself out there as a natural hair guru dean vlogger and then relax, of course we are going to hurt/sad/ upset.

          i didnt mean harm and i hope i wasnt rude with my first response.

      • stephanie

        Relaxed hair is easier to deal with for some of us. I wish that more naturals would stop projecting. Just because YOU couldn’t maintain a relaxed head doesn’t mean the same’s true for everyone. Just because YOUR hair was terminally neckl-ength and you combed relaxers through it and didn’t wash it doesn’t mean that every relaxed woman treats her hair the same way.

        No, it’s just you and the bald people with splitting ends.

        I’ve been natural; I’ve been relaxed. I wasn’t some natural hair bandwagon jumper, either. I’ve always done my own hair. Natural hair was always more work for me because it’s a learning curve, I had a lot of hair AND because mine is too wild to maintain in humid weather. I spent more time in the beauty shop as a natural girl than I ever did, relaxed.

        Why didn’t she do “this”. Why didn’t she do “that”? If the woman didn’t want to keep her relaxed hair, so what? It’s her head. She’s her own woman. If her going back to the crack is enough to discourage others from going natural,it’s nothing to do with her. People need to find their own identity.

    • http://unknown.com Bexx

      You’re absolutely right. Relaxed hair is easier to manage, but less desired. Staying up late at night to retwist my hair, and going to sleep with wet hair because I can’t style my hair dry is something I couldn’t get on board with. When I had relaxed hair I could simply wrap my hair and go to bed.

      I’ve been natural for over 6 years now, and I constantly cut my hair because the time it takes to deal with it is too much. I have the sort of hair that only survives one day hairstyles when I allow it to roam free. Wash-and-go’s, twist-outs, and braid-outs do not hold up. The point of wearing my natural hair is to wear my hair. I hate when people say, just braid it up, wear weaves or wig. What for? I wore braids in high school, and weaves and wigs make my scalp and skin itch. Protective styling still involves constant work to maintain. Like you, I will never relax again, but people really should stop pretending as though natural hair care is only a few products, and some hand manipulation.

  • Lucky Reid

    For me personally, it is easier to be natural. I’m not constantly fighting against what my hair wants to do NATURALLY. My natural hair maintenance is ROUTINE not WORK. People who smell bad and have black teeth would say that getting up in the morning, showering and brushing their teeth is work, but for me those things are routine – the same as maintaining my hair. I also think it depends how natural ladies wish to wear their hair, if you are choosing high-maintenance styles or styles that take a while to install and take down again, then expect more work. Equally, if your routine is a hundred steps and/or your wash day is 5 hours long, then, again, expect more work. If you are fighting every day to kill every ounce of frizz and are in constant pursuit of the ultimate curl definition, then yeah, sounds like extra work to me! If you feel the need to do that then perhaps being natural isn’t for you. I truly believe that natural hair care can be as easy as you want it to be and still achieve healthy hair that retains length (I do).
    I only hope Kerry doesn’t regret her decision down the line once she finds herself in a ‘better place’. We often make hasty and regrettable decisions when we have some sort of upset in our lives.

  • lilkunta

    it is a cop out. if she became busy she could have put her hair in braids or twists. gotten braids or twists entension. braided her hair then put on a wig.
    i am disappointed.
    jenelle please dont you leave the community.

  • http://desiremynatural.blogspot.com/ CJeanPoet

    Have yall seen her 2nd big chop?! It’s on her FB page (haven’t seen anything on YT yet)…what do you think???

    • lilkunta

      cjean, I wonder if it is bc she regretted the relaxer or bc she wants to be renewed since she is divorcing.

  • http://unknown.com Bexx

    SY has now big chopped and is back natural. I wonder how you all feel now having attacked this women? This sort of nastiness and restrictive attitude is why I will never consider myself to be apart of the natural hair community. Every woman should have the freedom to play with her hair without fear of being criticized because people perceive her decision as a “cop out”. MY natural hair journey is MINE, it isn’t yours. Worry about yourself, stop concerning yourself with the actions of others. These Youtubers are NOT your friends, they are merely there as a source for tips, and tutorials…nothing more. I’ve never subscribed to Janelle’s channel, but I’ve always thought that her personality seemed kind…after reading this judgmental post, I’m glad I never did.

    • lilkunta

      bexx; We didnt attack her. We offered our opinion.
      SY did & does have the freedom. However she was on yt speaking about natural hair with herself as an example so of course we were sad that she chemically relaxed her hair.

      If your natural hair journey is yours and yours alone dont put yourself out there as a guru/teacher and then relax your hair.

      You arent part of the natural hair community so goodbye.

      • http://unknown.com Bexx

        No, the holier-than-thou naturals offered up their judgmental opinions on why this woman’s decision to relax her hair made her weak. She shared her natural journey with all those who wanted to follow. She never promised that she would stay natural for the remainder of her Youtube life. I don’t get the notion that she owes strangers anything. She provided tutorials on how to care for natural hair, and advice. If people could no longer relate to her, fine! Move on, but eliminate the cattiness. I don’t know any women who hasn’t spent their life toying with their hair. Imagine living the next 50 years of your life with unchainable hair, simply to appease other people?

  • lilkunta

    jenell, kerry/simpl did a BC again. I wonder if it is bc she regretted the relaxer or bc she wants to be renewed since she is divorcing.

    • http://unknown.com Bexx

      How about the idea that she just wanted another change?

      • lilkunta

        Have you watched her vids since 2010? Or you just discovered her.
        Many times people wrote in that they too wanted a change, that it was too hard, they wanted to relax, SY discouraged them from that and encouraged them to continue on!
        if she wanted a change, why not a shoulder length hair cut ? The chemicals is why we are sad.

  • http://desiremynatural.blogspot.com/ CJeanPoet

    Well I love SimplYounique no matter what. As long as she’s happy and doing what’s best for her I’m on board with it.

  • MizJay

    I have been natural for 3 years now. After going natural, I searched YouTube to get ideas on how to care for and style my natural hair. Kerry & Jenell were the two that I watched the most. During my 3 year journey, I have been frustrated, wanted to go back to relaxing, cut my hair 5 times because I thought it was too much work and I could go on and on. Anyway, I decided I would remain natural at this time, and wear a TWA because it is easier to maintain, being that I am a busy mom. This is my hair, and I do what is best for ME. I absolutely love Kerry and I am sure that she did what was best for Kerry. Yes, she was an inspiration for me, but I am not going to speak negatively about her decision just because she did something differently than what I may have done. I am disappointed with Jenell because of the fact that she judged Kerry for doing what she felt was best for her. I know some people are saying that Jenell simply stated her opinion (and we are all entitled to our opinions), but she still came across as judging Kerry. It’s just like when you see women on television that weigh a certain amount encouraging others to love themselves no matter what size they are, and then they decide to lose weight for health or personal reasons and then people start attacking them saying that they were supposed to be down with the “big girls.” Stop it! We ALL do what is best for us and that is the way it should be. If and when I decide to relax my hair or not, it will be because I make that decision and not because of what the natural or any other community has to say about it. People need to stop being so judgmental of others. Just because you are a die-hard natural doesn’t make you any more or less than the next person.

  • ♛DaQueenB4U♛

    Did you see her latest video she cut her hair short https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRzVHHUoCDQ

  • ♛DaQueenB4U♛

    I’ve notices allot of naturals are either big chopping their hair for the 2nd or 3rd time or relaxing their hair. I’m not a fan of relaxers but at the end of the day it’s their choice. Do whatever is easier to maintain your hair as long as it’s healthy… We get so caught up on hair even myself for some reason Hair is Power in our community if a black woman have waist length hair and decides to cut it off other black women who probably aren’t able to achieve that length goal get mad I mean really mad at that person to the point of not speaking..smh all i’m saying it’s only hair it will grow back.

  • Peace&Love

    I am late to the discussion, but from what I understood in that video she said she may get into the full reasoning later, she is not sure. And comments under that video stated that she was going through a divorce. As a married lady, if chopping off/relaxing my darling kinks makes my life easier while I tried to grapple with such an extreme emotional burden then so be it, I don’t care who is invested in my hair. Thank God my choice to chop off all my hair 3 years ago was just for fashion and not inspired by any youtube “guru” or natural hair community blogger/vlogger, because I might as devastated as others are. But I am not, i don’t pay her bills, live her life, make sure she eats, know anything about her current mental or psychological state to be devastated over hair. People are saying she is selfish, maybe it is selfish of any individual or group of people to become so overly invested in someone’s life just because they inspired you to do something and offer you advice in that direction. It is selfish to expect someone to live up to a community’s expectations especially over something like hair. She was a natural hair guru, she went away for AN ENTIRE YEAR, not one video in that time, she clearly had a heavy load to deal with, if she decided to lay down something she loved in exchange for something else. Her explanation that her having relaxed hair is easier for her shouldn’t be taken as a PSA to start relaxing, she is one person with fewer subbies than the youtube “greats” naturals will be just fine. She clearly has more to say, but truthfully one’s investment in her hair should not be a requirement for her to divulge the personal details of her life. And if she is going through a divorce, or something even more drastic is happening, I can only pray for her strength, hair can go back easier than broken pieces of a soul/heart can be repaired.

    • MizJay

      Very well said.

  • http://www.creative-alia.com Alia Varzea

    She has a twa again.. Think she regretted the decision to relax. She should have done it in the first place. Natural hair is so versatile and remember it grows back so I don’t understand why she relaxed anyway. Many naturals that are in the community with longer tresses cutting their hair short too Natural Chica (Nikki Mae), Africanexport.

  • kimmylove

    This article is sooooooo disappointing. so what she relaxed her hair. Who are you to judge and criticize her. You say you are not judging but that’s exactly what you’re doing. You have no idea what some ppl are going through sometimes when leads them to make decisions on things they don’t normally do or don’t want to do. and to make an article calling someone out for a decision they made that didn’t harm a single soul is so shameful on your end. Worry about yourself and your family, you are a married woman if you ever get a divorce you never know what hardships that will bring to your life leaving you to make decisions that you used to judge and put down, then you will see what it feels like. Try to use your blog for positivity and not for shaming, judging and calling out others because you never know what tomorrow holds for you. And when the tables turn which they always do, you will never like being on the other end. I used to be a loyal subbie but after this no way. I refuse to associate myself and time with ppl who judge, point fingers, call out ppl and put down others.