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I Want To Go Natural, But What Will Others Think?

By Jenell — July 27, 2012

By Dr. Phoenyx of Dr.Phoenyx.com

I remember years ago when my mother told me that if I seriously planned on becoming a doctor, I would have to walk the walk, talk the talk, and most importantly, look the part- which meant that I would have to keep my hair relaxed and looking “professional.”

For years I took her words to heart, but it was only a matter of time before my independent and non-conformist nature took over. I respected my mom’s opinion, but I was also sick and tired of getting relaxers. So I went natural, ready to take on whatever negativity came my way. I really didn’t know what to expect and I had no clue what medical school admission committees or potential employers would think of my hair. And to be honest… I didn’t care. I was going to wear my hair in its natural state, and most importantly, I was going to wear my hair how I felt most comfortable. So I told myself that if a potential school or employer had an issue with it, then that was their problem, and obviously, not somewhere I wanted to be. Period.

Dr. Phoenyx AustinOftentimes I get approached by black women that are curious about my hair and transitioning to natural hair. And oftentimes these women tell me that they would’ve gone natural years ago, but feared what their family, their friends, their coworkers, or even their boss would say. What’s my response? I just ask them to answer this one simple question as honestly as they can: Is it really an issue of what others would say, or is it just that YOU have an issue with natural hair?

That question often brings about a moment of thoughtful silence, and in my opinion, helps to bring things into perspective.

Truth is, I’ve never had a problem getting into medical school or an issue with employment. In fact, I now get more compliments on my hair (compared to when I had relaxed hair). And when I did receive criticisms about my hair, they only came from black people-  non-black people didn’t seem to care. So in my opinion, a lot of the “issues” with natural hair are issues that we as black people put on ourselves.

And let’s be clear, I’m not saying racism and prejudice doesn’t or never existed. Yes, there was a time when how we wore our hair greatly determined how we were treated in society. But times are changing and there is nothing holding us back from embracing and showcasing who we are. So be authentic and do you. If YOU want to go natural, just do it. Relaxed, natural, weaved up, or whatever… It’s all about being comfortable in your own skin. Because at the end of the day, IT’S YOUR HAIR. It’s beautiful. It’s versatile. And as long as you love it, nothing else matters.

Thoughts?

Dr. Phoenyx Austin is a physician, media personality and author. Check out her awesome new book, If You Love It, It Will Grow: A Guide to Growing Long Afro-Textured Hair. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iTunes (special autographed book copies are available for purchase through DrPhoenyx.com).

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About Author

Jenell Stewart, formally known as BlakIzBeautyful is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Kinky Curly Coily Me. Jenell has a MS in special education and dedicates her time to educating and uplifting women with kinky, curly, coily hair. She big chopped on March 26, 2010 and currently lives in Brooklyn, NY.

View all Jenell posts.
  • Marlow Deer

    I think that for me going natural wasn’t so much of what others would say.  It was more that I was at a stage in my life where I only liked straight hair.  Sure… natural hair looked nice on others but I thought that it wasn’t for me.  I thought it would be much harder than it really is.  I don’t if it was age or the fact that my hair started to fall out or a combination of both, but I made the change and I LOVE IT!

    • DrPhoenyx

      Hi Marlow! So happy to read that you’ve found such happiness in your natural beauty. I often hear about women transitioning to natural because of hair loss and I think you’ve made a wise and healthy choice in going natural. Natural really isn’t “hard.” Yes, it takes work, but it’s not hard. And with time and patience, your hair will be all it was meant to be. Just keep showing your gorgeous kinks, coils and curls lots of TLC- If you love it, it will grow!

  • Ediebnatural1

    My mother relaxed my hair when I was 10 years old to make it more manageable for ‘her’. After all, she was the one having to spend hours a couple Saturdays out of the month caring for it. When I returned to school after having it relaxed, I was rejected by my peers saying I was trying to be white. I was devastated. I am now 45 years young, have never experienced my natural hair since then and am now determined to do so. I’m only one month post relaxer and looking forward to more of the authentic me. Thank you for this post. It was amazing and earthly and authentic. Dr. Phoenyx rocks! So does Jenell Stewart! BLESSINGS!

    • DrPhoenyx

      Aww, thank you love! That was so sweet of you to write. Congrats on your natural hair journey and keep showing your gorgeous kinks, coils and curls lots of TLC- if you love it, it will grow!

  • Musiq_Locs88

    I had a lot of different reactions when I decided to go natural and start locs. Someone that is very close to me told me that my hair looked nasty, dirty, and stinky, it hurt but this is something that I wanted to do.I later found out that she has a problem with natural hair. My mom is my biggest supporter so other peoples opinion mean nothing.

    • http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com/ Jenell : BlakIzBeautyful

      I’m sooo happy you weren’t fazed my haters. Moms are the best!

    • DrPhoenyx

      It takes alot of courage and confidence to be who you want to be despite the haters. Trust me, by just being you, you ARE an inspiration to many other girls who want to do the same. Keep doin’ you girl!

  • http://www.facebook.com/leillah.sekalala Leillah Sekalala

    So glad that you made this choice for the right reason, for you! I change up my hair every month and I think it has set the tone to my employer that I will look different every month. I weave, relax, wig, everything btw. I think as long as your hair is clean and healthy, that is the ticket.

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