My 5 year old daughter and I are both naturals. 2 years ago, I decided to go natural because of her. She kept asking for her hair to be like mine, you know straight without the kinks and easy to comb. I had relaxed hair then.
My daughter is one of a kind. I know everyone thinks that about their daughter. Her teacher, in her end of year report described my daughter even better than I could. Here is one of the statements in the report;
‘She will not rest until she finds out how and why something is the way it is’.
That statement is not a joke! When you have a 5 year old girl asking you the same questions everyday…when you are preparing for work, preparing for bed, eating, half asleep, half awake, talking with friends….just asking you the same question all the time. What was the question? Mum, why is your hair so easy to comb and mine so painful when you comb it? Mum, why is your hair straight and mine…not straight? Mum can I have my hair done in the salon and have that white cream put on mine like the lady does to yours?
When she was about 3, I gave up and texturized her hair and I had some peace, for a while, but I
was not happy with myself. I did not want to retouch the undergrowth because I would have to do
this at least every 8 weeks.
Thinking about it, my main problem was that I did not know have a clue about how to look after afro
hair. Two years ago, I decided the only way to be totally immersed in afro hair and know the in’s and
out of it was to be a carrier — of afro hair — I mean. I am glad I did. I thought no more questions from
my little darling, we are now the same, afro ladies. But I was wrong!!! She has a lot of questions still but what makes me happy is that she is learning about her hair at a very young age and to my surprise is behaving like a true natural — learning about her hair by ‘Osmosis’.
I style her hair and mine, myself. I may go to the salon once a year for a steam or trim and that’s
it. I learned how to do two strand twist 2 years ago and how to flat twist about 6 months ago. I can
cornrow as well. I carry out the same hair routine for both of us. I may not wash and condition her
hair as often as I wash mine but when I do, it’s exactly the same products and routine.
I asked to write short conversations between my daughter and me because she has picked up little
habits which give me joy, satisfaction and total peace. I definitely made the right decision on going
natural. We have these conversations while I am styling her hair, sitting in front of the telly, she
may be watching some kiddies channel or playing a game on the iPad, she may have a packet of
quavers. All this is just to distract her and to stop her asking me a thousand and one questions while
I style her hair.
Conversation 1: Mum and daughter sitting in front of the telly. Hair style for Sosa (daughter) this week is two strand twists.
Sosa: Mum, what style are you doing?
Mum: Single twist!
Sosa: Are you going to pack it up or leave it dangling? (She likes to whip her hair back and front!)
Mum: Pack it up!
Sosa: Awwww….Aw! Why mum?
Mum: Because …I say so!
Sosa: Okay, can I help?
Mum: Help….you? How can you help?
Sosa: Just give me a bit of hair so I can twist it.
Mum: Sosa, you don’t know how to twist!
Sosa: Yes, I do! Just give me a bit.
(For my peace of mind and to keep her quiet, I give her some of her hair in the front to mess with,she is concentrating on the telly….or so I thought. While she was doing all of this. I carry on twisting her hair at the back. Then she announces……
Sosa: Mum, I have finished!
I take a look at what she had done, just for some peace and quiet.I was the one stunned into silence. My 5 year old daughter had done 2 stand twists on her own hair. I could not believe what I was looking at. I took the strand from her and examined it closely. I thought to myself, “I was in my 30’s when I learned how to do 2 strand twists and it took several attempts of my sister explaining to me what direction to twist the hair before I could understand how to do it. Here is my 5 year old daughter, just by lifting her eyes up watching what I was doing on her head had learned how to twist.”
I decided to give her another go at it. So one day when I had my afro out, she asked mum can I twist your hair, so I give her a piece and she proceeds to do the same. I am now in total awe of her. I know it sounds silly.
The moral of the story: train up a child in the way she should grow and when she grows up she will
not depart from it.