Andrea A.
Hey Jenell!
After watching the video you shared NATURAL HAIR: YO BOYFRIEND DONT LIKE IT?? It brought up some all too familiar memories.
Well, my desire to go natural began with me wanting to lose weight. As I made my health a priority, my hair became more and more difficult to manage. My hair has always been "difficult". Relaxers didn't seem to last past a few weeks, flat-ironing always lead to flipped up curls, and I just didn't have the time I used to before marriage and children to devote to being creative with my hair. My hair had always been long and thick, so I assumed that if I had less of it, it would be easier to maintain along with my workout schedule. I couldn't have been more wrong. I got an asymmetrical cut, but it took alot of flat ironing to keep the hair smooth and straight. I felt like I was doing more harm than good in the long run, so I decided to give my hair a break with a sew-in. I did that off and on for about 9 months.
In the meantime, I had been following a few people on YT and really getting into the natural hair vibe. From what I had viewed and read, most people were able to maintain their fitness and exercise regimens with natural hair. I felt like going natural was the best thing for me. My husband, on the other hand, thought I was going through a personal crisis--especially since I had cut my hair so short (It has been long since we first met in high school) and was suddenly wanting to make all these drastic changes. When I first wanted to go natural, I asked my hubby how he felt about it. He was dead set against it. To say the least, his response was disappointing and raised a serious issue. I had to decide if I was going to do something that I strongly felt was right for me or to deny that so that my husband would be pleased.
Well, my desire to go natural began with me wanting to lose weight. As I made my health a priority, my hair became more and more difficult to manage. My hair has always been "difficult". Relaxers didn't seem to last past a few weeks, flat-ironing always lead to flipped up curls, and I just didn't have the time I used to before marriage and children to devote to being creative with my hair. My hair had always been long and thick, so I assumed that if I had less of it, it would be easier to maintain along with my workout schedule. I couldn't have been more wrong. I got an asymmetrical cut, but it took alot of flat ironing to keep the hair smooth and straight. I felt like I was doing more harm than good in the long run, so I decided to give my hair a break with a sew-in. I did that off and on for about 9 months.
In the meantime, I had been following a few people on YT and really getting into the natural hair vibe. From what I had viewed and read, most people were able to maintain their fitness and exercise regimens with natural hair. I felt like going natural was the best thing for me. My husband, on the other hand, thought I was going through a personal crisis--especially since I had cut my hair so short (It has been long since we first met in high school) and was suddenly wanting to make all these drastic changes. When I first wanted to go natural, I asked my hubby how he felt about it. He was dead set against it. To say the least, his response was disappointing and raised a serious issue. I had to decide if I was going to do something that I strongly felt was right for me or to deny that so that my husband would be pleased.
Although I felt he should support whatever decision I made, I (like most women) would not willingly choose to do something that makes them unattractive to their mate. We had been married for 9 1/2 years at the early stages of my "itch" to become natural. Wearing those weaves gave me a lot of time to grow and protect my hair, while weighing the pros and cons of going natural and remaining relaxed and what that mean for my relationship.
It was an almost daily topic. This man said everything from, "They make perms for a reason" to "[natural hair] is not for everybody", implying that it wasn't for me. In between the weaves and for the last 5 months of my transition, I wore Bantu knot-outs, buns and braidouts. He liked the curly/crinkley look that those styles gave. I think I harassed him so much about his acceptance of natural hair in general that he eventually said I should do whatever I wanted, but he was afraid that I wouldn't like it and he would have to deal with the aftermath.
It was an almost daily topic. This man said everything from, "They make perms for a reason" to "[natural hair] is not for everybody", implying that it wasn't for me. In between the weaves and for the last 5 months of my transition, I wore Bantu knot-outs, buns and braidouts. He liked the curly/crinkley look that those styles gave. I think I harassed him so much about his acceptance of natural hair in general that he eventually said I should do whatever I wanted, but he was afraid that I wouldn't like it and he would have to deal with the aftermath.
After my natural hair became more visible, he started giving me compliments about my hair. I wanted to BC several times, but was afraid of how he would react. I honestly didn't know how I would even react, since I was so used to having long straight hair. Before I knew it, it had been 14 months since I had a relaxer and I was finally ready to cut off the relaxed ends. That 14 months was surprising because, although I hadn't fully committed to going against my husband's wishes, I had been avoiding relaxers just in case. When I was finally "ready", not only did my hubby accept my decision, he cut the hair for me!
I became 100% natural on July 17, 2011 and will NEVER go back to relaxing my hair. My patience and persistence paid off with my hubby, who wasn't quite ready for the change. It took a lot to get him on board, but I think it was well worth it. He still has his feelings about natural hair and certain styles that he doesn't like on me, but overall I feel that he accepts ME (hair included). =D
I, like some women, felt that since my man couldn't accept my hair then what he was really doing was rejecting me. I never considered how much of a transition it would be for him as well. He had known me since high school and my hair had always been a certain way. The whole idea had been a gradual process for me and I just sprung it on him one day. I also had forgotten about the few times I tried to go natural when I was younger and it was HORRIBLE. I would post a pic of that, but I have a reputation to uphold. =D
I, like some women, felt that since my man couldn't accept my hair then what he was really doing was rejecting me. I never considered how much of a transition it would be for him as well. He had known me since high school and my hair had always been a certain way. The whole idea had been a gradual process for me and I just sprung it on him one day. I also had forgotten about the few times I tried to go natural when I was younger and it was HORRIBLE. I would post a pic of that, but I have a reputation to uphold. =D
Can anyone relate?
